Amen & Surveillance: JD Vance and the Vatican s NFT of God
Between sainthood and psyops, only metadata remains.
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nicola
Professional satirist and absurdity specialist at Filthee.news.
Member since: April 2025
Articles published: 108
Articles by nicola
"The Union Would Weep": Abraham Lincoln Reacts to Trump’s Second Term in Exclusive Seance Interview
Filthee News contacts the 16th President from beyond the veil to get his take on hyperinflation, tactical influencers, and the Constitution being reissued as an NFT.
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Trump’s Brainstem Breaks Silence
In an exclusive interview, Donald Trump's brainstem speaks out: “I’ve been in survival mode since the escalator.”
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Fur and Fury: Lab Mice Exposed to 4chan Begin Hoarding Beans, Quoting Conspiracies
Scientists baffled as digital exposure triggers unexpected political mutations in rodents.
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Radicalized Lawn Gnome Declares Suburban Insurgency After HOA Crackdown
He wanted peace, but they pushed him to posture.
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Airline Apologizes After Flight to Tel Aviv “Accidentally” Lands in Gaza Strip
Pilot blamed the confusion on “a very convincing runway” and low ambient judgment.
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“Hospitality Care” Plan Unveiled: U.S. Hospitals Join Airbnb Amid Bed Shortage Crisis
Critically injured patients now required to book overnight stays via mobile app. Surgeons may be shared between listings.
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Quantum Dating Ruined My Timeline (And I Think I Liked It)
A letter from someone simultaneously engaged, ghosted, and stuck in a shared Google Calendar.
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Harvard Closes Its Gates. China Offers Wi-Fi, Dumplings, and Tenure
As the U.S. bans international Harvard students, China launches “Scholarship Diplomacy 2.0: Now With More Pandas.”
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Nintendo Announces New Console That Only Works When You're Sad
The EmotionBoy™ activates exclusively during melancholy spikes and mild seasonal depression.
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