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BREAKING NEWS:
Former Twitter Now Self-Aware, Refuses To Be Called X • U.N. Recognizes Mushroom Kingdom as Observer State After Mario Kart Audit • Pope Orders Silence • Katy Perry Attends Oscars of Science Before Going to Space: “I Just Want to Sing in Zero Gravity” • Saudi Intelligence Accidentally Uploads 1.2 Terabytes of Angel Surveillance Footage After Mistaking Archangel Jibril for a Drone Prototype
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