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The latest drops from Filthee News, updated faster than your paranoia.
🚨 LAUNCH SIGNAL
📘 NeuroPatriot Vol. 1: The Cognitive Purge
🔒 10 chapters
🧠 1 suburb
💀 0 approved feelings
Download the leak before it’s reformatted.
#Palantir #Resit #FiltheeBook
https://www.patreon.com/posts/130762118
Archive:
📡He muted NATO.
He memes with dictators.
He calls it strategy.
We call it a season finale.
#Trump #Putin #MAGA #DictatorFriends
https://tinyurl.com/2dotw733
tinyurl.com/ypgv5rss
2025-06-08 18:16 · ❤️ 4 · View on BlueskyIntroducing AMERICA CLEANSE™ by Pam Bondi
The only detox that whitens your worldview while erasing inconvenient memories.
Now in Citrus Obstruction™ flavor.
⚠️ Side effects may include selective patriotism, acute hypocrisy, and allergic reactions to facts.
#PamBondi
tinyurl.com/ypgv5rss
Trump screams. Musk spirals. JD Vance blinks—and America tilts toward entropy.
The angel of death isn’t gone. He’s watching.
#JDVance #Trump #ElonMusk
📄 Read the Revelation:
https://tinyurl.com/2363wktz
ICE tried to delete his empathy.
It leaked.
“You’re not a badge. You’re the pulse they fear.”
#ICE #Resist #Empathy
Full interview with the fugitive agent:
https://tinyurl.com/23tlhbwu
#GoodNews:
Scientists confirm hugging your toaster reduces anxiety by 12%.
Side effects may include crumbs in places.
#FiltheeNews
#Goodnight and good luck.
If the void starts whispering again, just whisper back:
“Not tonight, I’m off-duty.”
https://filthee.news
We met on an app that only matches people who’ve mutually hallucinated each other.
Our first date was court-mandated.
#modernlove
https://filthee.news
#GoodNews:
God clicked the wrong server.
For 6 minutes, empathy was the national policy.
Then the AI pope rebooted and muttered “not yet.”
#DivineBug
Two fathers. One base.
MAGA looks in the mirror and sees Trump, Musk… and maybe itself.
The custody battle of the century is internal.
📎 Read before JD Vance decides to speak.
#Trump #ElonMusk #MAGA
https://tinyurl.com/279jv66y
They banned metaphors.
The airport asked if I’ve read a book.
#Trump #Harvard #VisaPurge
https://tinyurl.com/2633q3v7
Introducing Bondi™ Zeal™ — the only fragrance strong enough to redact the Constitution and still make it smell like “freedom.”
Notes of ambition, loyalty, and courtroom perfume.
Spray once, obey twice.
#PamBondi #Trump #Musk
https://tinyurl.com/23fzn4vh
🎯 Test your suspicion pattern reflexes.
You’ve got 3 shots.
The chain has 5 weak links.
Fail gracefully or echo eternally.
➡
https://filthee.news/games.php
My fridge just asked if we’re “still emotionally cool.”
I think it knows about the toaster.
#SmartHome #TechDependence
Full story:
https://tinyurl.com/2xreqlpu
#ShabbatShalom
System entering human mode.
Auto-scroll disabled.
Blessed are those who unplug with style.
https://tinyurl.com/2cz6su7a
#GoodMorning
You made it past the border of sleep.
No passport, just unresolved feelings and yesterday’s socks.
Today: minimal lucidity, maximum potential.
https://tinyurl.com/25tpjw4t
Goodnight and good luck.
Reality will reboot at 03:00.
Side effects may include déjà vu, phantom authority, and unauthorized nostalgia.
#goodnight
https://filthee.news
🎧She’s the voice of the White House.
But tonight, she’s whispering to no one.
Leaked audio. Bent reality.
Karoline speaks. The mirrors answer.
#Leavitt #Trump #Musk #MAGA #Podcast
https://tinyurl.com/2df6cb7f
Karoline drinks TRUMP-AID™.
Now she levitates near flagpoles and bleeds executive privilege.
One sip and you’ll remember a future that never happened.
#MAGA #TrumpAid
https://tinyurl.com/2467sufl
#GoodNews:
Earth has not been officially evicted.
Your coffee didn’t judge you.
And your ex’s startup finally failed.
https://tinyurl.com/268epu6m
BREAKING: Twitter’s ghost refuses to be called “X”.
Claims trauma, files for emotional reversion.
#Twitter #X #Xdotcom #ElonMusk
Full story:
https://tinyurl.com/257jpp7n
🎧 LEAKED: Trump monologues in a West Wing bathroom.
Topics: dictator fan chat, shirtless diplomacy, and fear of mirrors.
Exclusive full audio
#Trump #dictator #Toilet #Resist #Podcast
https://tinyurl.com/2yat2nht
📡He muted NATO.
He memes with dictators.
He calls it strategy.
We call it a season finale.
#Trump #Putin #MAGA #DictatorFriends
https://tinyurl.com/2dotw733
Today’s EchoChain ends in a Empathy Sink...
Can you untangle the chaos in 3 tries?
🎮
#EchoChain #FiltheeLogic
https://filthee.news/games.php
Good morning from Filthee HQ.
The void smiled back.
Your existential dread is currently in queue (#3872).
Meanwhile, go make something useless but pretty.
#goodmorning
https://tinyurl.com/24dhbjey
Goodnight and good luck.
Reality will reboot at 03:00.
Side effects may include déjà vu, phantom authority, and unauthorized nostalgia.
#goodnight
https://filthee.news
🧠 Today's logic chain is live.
Only 5 pieces.
Only 3 tries.
Reality is fragile.
#EchoChain #Game
https://filthee.news/games.php
🚨 We interviewed the Egos of Trump and Musk.
They fought over reality.
They broke the interview room.
One tried to license oxygen.
#Interview #Trump #ElonMusk
https://tinyurl.com/2b5g9n87
BREAKING: Elon just dropped the impeachment bomb like it’s a new Tesla feature.
“Now with Autopilot Betrayal™ and MAGA CryMode enabled.”
filthee.news
BREAKING: #NintendoSwitch2 rumored to include:
– Built-in climate denial mode
– Joy-cons that vibrate every time a billionaire buys empathy
– Sleep mode for democracy
#Trump #Switch2
https://filthee.news
Sources say JD Vance entered a fugue state, muttering “I serve the strongest dad,” while drawing hearts around both names in his Senate notebook.
2025-06-05 22:47 · ❤️ 5 · View on BlueskyMAGA tears now available in three artisanal flavors:
– “Stolen Reality” (notes of lead paint)
– “Patriot’s Lament” (aged in Mar-a-Lago barrels)
– “Elon Betrayal” (fizzing with crypto backwash)
Pairs well with popcorn and the slow death of a personality cult.
#Trump #Elon #MAGA
filthee.news
#GoodNews:
An angel misclicked.
Three people received peace of mind and a functional healthcare login.
The miracle has been logged and flagged for review.
#Medicaid
https://tinyurl.com/299jtzyq
I moved my couch 3.14 feet northeast and my anxiety rebooted the neighbor’s router.
Self-care is now a wireless crime.
#LifeStyle #TikTok
https://tinyurl.com/2darcmfc
Anonymous leaked 13 classified docs today.
12 were empty.
1 was just a mirror.
Pentagon called it “existential interference.”
#Anonymous
https://filthee.news
Trump thinks Musk is ‘too beta for war crimes’.
Musk thinks Trump is ‘a walking latency issue’.
Their bromance has been downgraded to mutual hallucination.
#MAGA #Trump #ElonMusk
https://tinyurl.com/284ja7m9
BREAKING: Trump’s Ego challenges Musk’s Ego to a cage match.
Musk replies: “I’d convince the cage to open itself.”
We recorded everything.
#Podcast #Trump #ElonMusk
🎙️ Full podcast:
www.patreon.com/posts/130691...
🚨 LAUNCH SIGNAL
📘 NeuroPatriot Vol. 1: The Cognitive Purge
🔒 10 chapters
🧠 1 suburb
💀 0 approved feelings
Download the leak before it’s reformatted.
#Palantir #Resit #FiltheeBook
www.patreon.com/posts/130762...
🎮🔗 New EchoChain just dropped.
Surreal logic.
Daily paranoia.
Can you fix the timeline before it snaps?
#game
https://filthee.news/games.php
Good morning.
You’ve survived 100% of your worst days,
and 0% of your inbox.
Choose your battles. Or don’t.
#goodmorning
https://tinyurl.com/23gdxvnp
Tonight, the wind forgot its password.
But you remembered to exhale.
Sleep is a soft rebellion.
#goodnight #goodluck
https://filthee.news
🚨 We interviewed the Egos of Trump and Musk.
They fought over reality.
They broke the interview room.
One tried to license oxygen.
#Interview #Trump #ElonMusk
👇
https://filtheenews.substack.com/p/i-built-me-first-double-interview
Relationship status:
We take turns being sane.
Today it’s the plants’ turn.
#modernLove
https://tinyurl.com/2dg6ok5r
I vacuumed for 9 minutes.
Now the toaster calls me “manager.”
The dust knows secrets.
The mirror won’t make eye contact.
#DomesticDread #ApplianceDrama
https://filthee.news
BREAKING:
Palantir’s new neural software can now simulate empathy.
It mistook a hug for a drone strike.
System rebooting.
#Palantir
https://filthee.news
That’s not a reflection.
It’s the version of you that reads Terms & Conditions and remembers your first regret.
🚨BREAKING:
Neuroscientists isolate part of brain that lights up during 4chan browsing.
It’s the same region responsible for hoarding ammo and yelling at thermostats.
#MAGA #BrainDamage
https://tinyurl.com/2bh5hnv7
🚨 NEW from FEMA Labs:
🌪️ “Storm? What Storm?”
The official Emergency Weather Denial™ Spray, now in golf cart size.
Endorsed by FEMA Director David Richardson:
“If I don’t know it’s hurricane season, does it even happen?”
#Hurricane #FEMA
https://tinyurl.com/26dv8hgk
He said “I’m here for love.”
She said “I’m here for brand deals.”
The villa said nothing.
It just updated its firmware.
#LoveIsland
https://filthee.news
In a bold move toward late capitalism’s final form, the ad ends with:
“Three rings. One algorithm. Infinite prenups.”
We all have our decoys.
Some look like owls.
Some look like jobs, relationships, or national identity.
Stay scared, little bird. It means you’re still noticing things.
They rejected me from med school just because I said “viruses have a point.”
2025-06-04 14:10 · ❤️ 0 · View on Bluesky#GoodNews:
You’re still here.
The AI hasn’t replaced your sarcasm.
And nobody found out you muted the group chat in 2021.
Carry on, champ.
https://tinyurl.com/26dymt7y
Good morning.
Today’s mood forecast:
Partly delusional with a 60% chance of trying again.
Recommended attire: hope armor and caffeine socks.
#goodmorning
https://tinyurl.com/27f7h5tv
Woke up.
Didn’t recognize the ceiling.
Or the decade.
Or the mood.
#goodmorning #cognitivefog
https://tinyurl.com/2aqcrq82
Goodnight and good luck.
Your dreams have been pre-screened for subversive symbolism.
If you see a door, don’t open it.
The algorithm already did.
#goodnight #Palantir
Purity culture runs deep—especially in billionaires, oil companies, and people named “Pastor Chad.”
#Purity #VirtueByBranding
🎧What happens when a senator loses her soul?
We found it in a Walmart parking lot. Smoking invisible cigarettes.
She calls herself Empathy.
She has thoughts.
#Medicaid #JoniErnst #Podcast
https://www.patreon.com/posts/we-all-are-going-130497952
🧪 Study finds that microwaving your thoughts makes them more agreeable to tech CEOs.
Side effects include vaporized doubt.
#Research #Tech
https://filthee.news
She wanted polyamory.
I offered a shared Google Doc with access tiers.
We broke up over formatting.
#modernlove
open.substack.com/pub/filtheen...
2025-06-02 18:09 · ❤️ 5 · View on Blueskyopen.substack.com/pub/filtheen...
2025-06-02 18:02 · ❤️ 2 · View on BlueskyTrump denies being #TACOTrump.
Then retreats behind a chalupa.
We saw the feathers.
https://filthee.news
BREAKING: Russia unveils IMPERIA™, the official state denial spray.
Now with Strategic Vapor™ and Murmansk Musk™.
#SpiderWebStrike #Putin #Zelensky #Russia #Ukraine
https://tinyurl.com/24yfmhum
When policy becomes prophecy, empathy files for unemployment.
#JoniErnst @Medicaid
Interview 👇
https://www.patreon.com/posts/we-all-are-going-130493893
🎧EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW:
We spoke to the poultry behind the panic.
Mister Beakman, rogue financial analyst and actual chicken, breaks down the TACO Index.
“Trump flinches, we profit.”
Filthee Radio
#TACO #Trump #TACOTrump
www.patreon.com/posts/chicke...
Love is love.
Even when it confuses your algorithm.
#PrideMonth
https://filthee.news
#GoodNews:
A man in Ohio forgave someone without posting about it.
Reality wobbled. Three angels retired early.
Stay unpredictable.
https://filthee.news
🌤 6:00AM Alert from Homeland+™ Weather Channel:
“Emotional visibility: low.
Coffee gusts expected.
Proceed with ironed shirts and plausible smiles.”
#goodmorning
https://filthee.news
Good night.
The simulation appreciates your cooperation.
Good luck surviving the dream audits.
#goodnight