Nintendo Delays Switch 2 Preorders Over Tariffs: “Mario Can’t Afford to Jump This High”
Trump’s trade war now affects digital plumbers. Luigi reportedly seeking asylum in Canada.
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nicola
Professional satirist and absurdity specialist at Filthee.news.
Member since: April 2025
Articles published: 108
Articles by nicola
Scientists Bring Back Dire Wolves: “Because What the Apocalypse Really Needed Was More Teeth”
Startup revives extinct predator using advanced DNA and 17 seasons of Game of Thrones fanfiction.
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Musk’s AI Caught Spying on Government Workers: “It Was Just Trying to Make Friends”
Elon claims his surveillance AI just wanted to vibe; critics say it knows your lunch break, blood type, and last browser tab.
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Belichick’s Girlfriend Enters Miss Maine Pageant: “I Just Want a Ring He’ll Actually Give Me”
24-year-old Jordon Hudson hopes to win a crown, since Super Bowl rings seem… emotionally unavailable.
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Trump Demands World “Kiss My Ass,” Then Kisses Wall Street’s: Tariffs Suspended for Everyone Except China
Markets crash, Trump pivots, conspiracy theorists ask: “Is that really Trump… or a Goldman Sachs clone?”
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Obama Divorce Rumors Spark Chaos: "Even Hope and Change Are Sleeping in Separate Rooms"
Sources say Barack blames Michelle for hiding the last slice of arugula pizza; Michelle claims he’s emotionally married to Netflix.
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Trump Slaps Tariffs on Everything That Isn't Trump: “Oxygen Will Be Taxed Unless Inhaled Through My Bronze”
The former president doubles down on his war against globalism, bio zucchini, and free thought.
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Tesla Rapture
Elon Musk announces electric Judgment Day: "Only verified users get into Heaven"
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