BREAKING NEWS:
New Gen-Z Wellness Trend Involves Screaming Into Smart Mirrors That Generate Personalized Mantras Based on Your Shadow Self, Birth Trauma, and Which Corporate Logos Trigger the Most Emotional Disassociation • Mecca Now Accepts Bitcoin • Tesla Rapture • New Government Program Accidentally Turns Entire Nation into Real-Life Episode of Black Mirror • U.N. Recognizes Mushroom Kingdom as Observer State After Mario Kart Audit
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