Survivor 48 Now Set in Congress: “They’ve Been Gaslighting Each Other for Years—Might As Well Add Sand”
Cast includes real senators, fake alliances, and a coconut that accidentally passed a bill.
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nicola
Professional satirist and absurdity specialist at Filthee.news.
Member since: April 2025
Articles published: 108
Articles by nicola
ICE Revives VOICE Office: “Because Nothing Says ‘Freedom’ Like a Hotline for Blaming Immigrants”
Kristi Noem promises justice, empathy, and a bilingual hold message that plays Toby Keith.
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Trump Suspends All Tariffs Except China’s: “Everyone Can Kiss My Ass—Except Xi, He Can Wait in Line”
Markets cheer, diplomats sweat, and somewhere, a panda cries.
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NJ Woman Tries to Hire Hitman Online: “Does Yelp Have a Hit Section or...?”
Jaclyn Diiorio allegedly offered $12,000 to erase her ex. Reddit users offer coupons.
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Millions Protest Trump and Musk in “Hands Off!” March: "Get Your Billionaire Hands Out of My Medicaid"
1,400 cities, one chant: “We’d rather be broke than bought.”
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Gut Health Declared National Priority: New Pledge of Allegiance Adds “With Liberty and Probiotics for All”
Yogurt now worshipped. Kombucha replaces water in public fountains. America’s colon has entered its golden age.
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New Miracle Weight-Loss Pill Works—As Long As You Don’t Eat, Sleep, or Breathe
Side effects include thinness, bankruptcy, and spiritual awakening via hunger.
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U.S. Slashes Health Research Budget: “Who Needs Science When You’ve Got Faith and WebMD?”
Cancer research canceled, experts fired, and TikTok influencers hired to explain medicine via lip-syncs.
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Belly Button Piercings Make a Comeback: Millennials Reluctantly Dig Out Old Scar Tissue
Gen Z calls it iconic. Millennials call it a recovery room flashback.
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Katy Perry Attends Oscars of Science Before Going to Space: “I Just Want to Sing in Zero Gravity”
Lauren Sánchez pilots, Gayle King narrates, and Katy Perry packs glitter for science.
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