BREAKING NEWS:
Viewers Mistake “Yellowjackets” for Real Historical Event, Demand Government Apology for 1996 Cannibalism Cover-Up • Trump Offers “Trump Tower Mecca™” in Exchange for Qatari Jet, Sparks Holy Real Estate Diplomacy • Vatican Braces for JD Vance Visit, Pope Leo XIV Activates Papal Firewall • NJ Woman Tries to Hire Hitman Online: “Does Yelp Have a Hit Section or...?” • Florida Man Baptizes 17 Alligators in Wendy’s Parking Lot, Claims “They Found Jesus Faster Than My Ex-Wife”
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