BREAKING NEWS:
White House Launches "Project WOMB" to Boost Birth Rates with $5,000 Bonuses and Ovulation Surveillance • Quantum Dating Ruined My Timeline (And I Think I Liked It) • New Gen-Z Wellness Trend Involves Screaming Into Smart Mirrors That Generate Personalized Mantras Based on Your Shadow Self, Birth Trauma, and Which Corporate Logos Trigger the Most Emotional Disassociation • BREAKING: Marjorie Taylor Greene Launches iLie™ — The Wearable That Filters Out Reality • Florida Man Baptizes 17 Alligators in Wendy’s Parking Lot, Claims “They Found Jesus Faster Than My Ex-Wife”
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