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Pope Leo XIV Revealed as AI Trained on Scripture and Elon Musk Tweets • Belly Button Piercings Make a Comeback: Millennials Reluctantly Dig Out Old Scar Tissue • Apple Unveils iGod • Feng-Shuied My Anxiety into the Neighbor’s Wi-Fi • Gut Health Declared National Priority: New Pledge of Allegiance Adds “With Liberty and Probiotics for All”
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