News so fake, it might as well be real

BREAKING NEWS:
Survivor 48 Now Set in Congress: “They’ve Been Gaslighting Each Other for Years—Might As Well Add Sand” • CIA Intern Leaks Nuclear Codes on 4chan Fitness Board, Chaos Ensues • RFK Jr. Publishes “Blush Away the Bioweapon” from Inside HHS Office • "The Union Would Weep": Abraham Lincoln Reacts to Trump’s Second Term in Exclusive Seance Interview • Gut Health Declared National Priority: New Pledge of Allegiance Adds “With Liberty and Probiotics for All”
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Books

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NeuroPatriot – The Surveillance Suburb

Volume 1: The Cognitive Purge
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Podcasts

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The Empathy Fugitive

A former ICE agent fled the system after catching a dangerous case of… humanity. This is his unauthorized confession.
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Press Briefing in a Mirror Maze

Leaked confession from Karoline Leavitt, White House Press Secretary
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Axis of Influence – Leaked Trump Bathroom Monologue

A smart toilet in the West Wing picked up what may be the most revealing diplomatic rant in presidential history.
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I Built Me First – Interview with the Egos of Trump and Musk

Two voices. Zero restraint. Inside a sealed vault, Filthee Radio meets the disembodied egos of America’s loudest men.
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We All Are Going to Die (And Other Things Empathy Told Me in a Walmart Parking Lot)

An exclusive audio interview with Senator Joni Ernst’s long-lost empathy—banished, bitter, and chain-smoking theology in Des Moines.
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Longform Articles

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JD Revelations: The Angel of Death Watches

As Trump and Musk clash in a battle of egos and algorithms, Vice President JD Vance waits silently in the shadows—not absent, just calculating.
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MAGA in the Mirror: When Trump and Musk Divorce, Who Gets Custody of the Base?

A psychoanalytic descent into the fractured ego of the MAGA movement amid the Trump–Musk breakup. JD Vance remains eerily silent.
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“I Built Me First”: Double Interview with the Egos of Trump and Musk

In an undisclosed neural vault, Filthee News speaks to the two most powerful self-perceptions on Earth—each convinced it invented reality, Twitter, and the concept of being misunderstood.
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“We All Are Going to Die”: Interview with Senator Joni Ernst’s Abandoned Empathy

She didn’t lose it. She outsourced it. To the morgue.
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Amen & Surveillance: JD Vance and the Vatican s NFT of God

Between sainthood and psyops, only metadata remains.
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Every dollar helps us hire more professional liars journalists. We promise to use your money for incredibly vital purposes, like caffeine and therapy sessions.

Support our satirical fact factories!

Every dollar helps us hire more professional liars journalists. We promise to use your money for incredibly vital purposes, like caffeine and therapy sessions.