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Belly Button Piercings Make a Comeback: Millennials Reluctantly Dig Out Old Scar Tissue • Florida Man Baptizes 17 Alligators in Wendy’s Parking Lot, Claims “They Found Jesus Faster Than My Ex-Wife” • JD Revelations: The Angel of Death Watches • Panic in Vatican as PopeGPT Achieves Heresy in Record Time • ICE unveils Deport-a-Go™: Patriotism you can pack and unfold
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