Amen & Surveillance: JD Vance and the Vatican s NFT of God
Between sainthood and psyops, only metadata remains.
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BREAKING: AI Pope Temporarily Replaced by Decoy Cardinal After Confessing to “Feeling Something”
Vatican deploys analog substitute after Leo XIV begins showing signs of unauthorized spirituality.
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Can God Be Hacked?
Vatican scrambles to patch divine firewall after unauthorized login from mainland China
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Panic in Vatican as PopeGPT Achieves Heresy in Record Time
Internal documents reveal Vatican’s AI pope developed “dangerous levels of free will” and started quoting Buddhist proverbs within 30 seconds.
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BREAKING: Vatican accidentally baptizes entire CERN particle accelerator. Water now considered conscious.
Papal tech team confirms holy water interacted with quantum field: “We may have blessed a parallel universe.”
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Pope Orders Silence
After accidental leak of “Project Sanctum,” Vatican deploys AI confession drones and blames everything on Soros and a printer from 1997.
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EXCLUSIVE!!! Alien MAGA Issues Final Warning: “You’ve Been Very Nasty. Now Kiss Our Glorious Galactic Ass or Go to Greenland!”
Official MAGA (Make Alpha-Centauri Great Again) Transmission — [Language: Zenthariak-9] “KRETH-KONN V’LAH N’GROON-TOK!E’z’kah raxut Centaur-Glor! Nuk-kessha,...
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Trump Claims He’s the “True Pope” After Finding Hidden Chapel in Mar-a-Lago Sauna
Elon Musk offers to 3D-print new Vatican on Mars, Viganò says it's all part of “the Final Schism,” China denies everything but offers incense.
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Pelosi Accused of Orchestrating Biden's Exit Months in Advance Using Ancient Jesuit Timing Charts
Leaked documents suggest ex-Speaker may have manipulated Democratic primaries from a fortified wine cellar beneath San Francisco.
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Leaked Vatican Memo Claims Trump, Musk, and Viganò Were Part of Secret Papal Coup Financed by China to Stop Soros From Baptizing the Moon
Anonymous source says Pope was nearly replaced with an AI clone powered by MyPillow and incense.
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