BREAKING NEWS:
Katy Perry Attends Oscars of Science Before Going to Space: “I Just Want to Sing in Zero Gravity” • Trump Suspends All Tariffs Except China’s: “Everyone Can Kiss My Ass—Except Xi, He Can Wait in Line” • Noem Goes Full Tactical • Florida Man Baptizes 17 Alligators in Wendy’s Parking Lot, Claims “They Found Jesus Faster Than My Ex-Wife” • Musk’s AI Caught Spying on Government Workers: “It Was Just Trying to Make Friends”
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