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Trump Declares Borders Are Feelings: Harvard Now a Threat Vector • BREAKING: AI Pope Temporarily Replaced by Decoy Cardinal After Confessing to “Feeling Something” • Belichick’s Girlfriend Enters Miss Maine Pageant: “I Just Want a Ring He’ll Actually Give Me” • BREAKING: New Pope Installs Firewall, Blocks MAGA at Border of Heaven • Former Twitter Now Self-Aware, Refuses To Be Called X
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