News so fake, it might as well be real

BREAKING NEWS:
Gut Health Declared National Priority: New Pledge of Allegiance Adds “With Liberty and Probiotics for All” • U.S. Launches First Subscription Surgery Bundle: “Health You Can Pay Monthly For” • Gun & Geometry: Florida School Launches Revolutionary STEM-and-Shoot Curriculum • “I Built Me First”: Double Interview with the Egos of Trump and Musk • Christian Right Declares War on Empathy: “Feelings Are a Gateway Drug to Socialism”
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