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BREAKING NEWS:
Russia and Ukraine to Settle War on Reality Show: “Survivor: Peace Talks Island” • Trump Suspends All Tariffs Except China’s: “Everyone Can Kiss My Ass—Except Xi, He Can Wait in Line” • Katy Perry Attends Oscars of Science Before Going to Space: “I Just Want to Sing in Zero Gravity” • BREAKING: U.S. Launches First-Ever “National Silence Week” to Combat Overexposure to Opinions • OnlyFans Bans Model for Secretly Being a Public School Teacher
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