News so fake, it might as well be real

BREAKING NEWS:
Quantum Dating Ruined My Timeline (And I Think I Liked It) • BREAKING: Florida Governor Approves “Thought Loyalty Tests” for All Public Employees, Says Anyone Who Dreams in Blue or Feels Empathy After 11 PM May Be a Federal Plant or AI Sentient Threat • Scientists Bring Back Dire Wolves: “Because What the Apocalypse Really Needed Was More Teeth” • Gut Health Declared National Priority: New Pledge of Allegiance Adds “With Liberty and Probiotics for All” • U.S. and Iran to Restart Nuclear Talks in Oman: “Nothing Says Peace Like a Neutral Desert and a Thousand Microphones”
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