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Katy Perry Attends Oscars of Science Before Going to Space: “I Just Want to Sing in Zero Gravity” • New Gen-Z Wellness Trend Involves Screaming Into Smart Mirrors That Generate Personalized Mantras Based on Your Shadow Self, Birth Trauma, and Which Corporate Logos Trigger the Most Emotional Disassociation • BREAKING: Constitution Replaced by Freedom+™ Subscription Model • ICE unveils Deport-a-Go™: Patriotism you can pack and unfold • Florida Man Baptizes 17 Alligators in Wendy’s Parking Lot, Claims “They Found Jesus Faster Than My Ex-Wife”
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