BREAKING NEWS:
New Government Program Accidentally Turns Entire Nation into Real-Life Episode of Black Mirror • Survivor 48 Now Set in Congress: “They’ve Been Gaslighting Each Other for Years—Might As Well Add Sand” • BREAKING: U.S. Launches First-Ever “National Silence Week” to Combat Overexposure to Opinions • Nikola Tesla Returns, Admits Arson: “I Burned the Self-Driving Cars” • Fur and Fury: Lab Mice Exposed to 4chan Begin Hoarding Beans, Quoting Conspiracies
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