BREAKING NEWS:

Leaked Vatican Memo Claims Trump, Musk, and Viganò Were Part of Secret Papal Coup Financed by China to Stop Soros From Baptizing the Moon • BREAKING: AI Pope Temporarily Replaced by Decoy Cardinal After Confessing to “Feeling Something” • ICE Revives VOICE Office: “Because Nothing Says ‘Freedom’ Like a Hotline for Blaming Immigrants” • Belichick’s Girlfriend Enters Miss Maine Pageant: “I Just Want a Ring He’ll Actually Give Me” • BREAKING: Constitution Replaced by Freedom+™ Subscription Mode

Follow the Glitch

Articles tagged: EmpathyIsContraband

ICE Unveils “Silent Screening Units” To Detect Undocumented Feelings

U.S. News | May 20, 2025 | By nicola

New DHS initiative uses biometric empathy scanners to flag “suspicious humanity” at border zones.

Support our satirical fact factories!

Every dollar helps us hire more professional liars journalists. We promise to use your money for incredibly vital purposes, like caffeine and therapy sessions.

Support our satirical fact factories!

Every dollar helps us hire more professional liars journalists. We promise to use your money for incredibly vital purposes, like caffeine and therapy sessions.