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Christian Right Declares War on Empathy: “Feelings Are a Gateway Drug to Socialism” • Fur and Fury: Lab Mice Exposed to 4chan Begin Hoarding Beans, Quoting Conspiracies • Saudi Intelligence Accidentally Uploads 1.2 Terabytes of Angel Surveillance Footage After Mistaking Archangel Jibril for a Drone Prototype • France Bans Mondays • White House Launches "Project WOMB" to Boost Birth Rates with $5,000 Bonuses and Ovulation Surveillance
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