BREAKING NEWS:
BREAKING: AI Pope Temporarily Replaced by Decoy Cardinal After Confessing to “Feeling Something” • Former Twitter Now Self-Aware, Refuses To Be Called X • New Gen-Z Wellness Trend Involves Screaming Into Smart Mirrors That Generate Personalized Mantras Based on Your Shadow Self, Birth Trauma, and Which Corporate Logos Trigger the Most Emotional Disassociation • BREAKING: New Pope Installs Firewall, Blocks MAGA at Border of Heaven • Arizona’s Christians Now Outnumbered by People Who Believe in “Vibes”
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