BREAKING NEWS:
Radicalized Lawn Gnome Declares Suburban Insurgency After HOA Crackdown • Florida Man Baptizes 17 Alligators in Wendy’s Parking Lot, Claims “They Found Jesus Faster Than My Ex-Wife” • BREAKING: U.S. Launches First-Ever “National Silence Week” to Combat Overexposure to Opinions • Trump Slaps Tariffs on Everything That Isn't Trump: “Oxygen Will Be Taxed Unless Inhaled Through My Bronze” • Pope Orders Silence
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