UNITED STATES — In an unprecedented case of entertainment-induced collective delusion, thousands of Americans have taken to X.com to demand a formal congressional investigation into the events of 1996, after watching the latest season of Yellowjackets and assuming it was based on actual classified history.

The show—described by critics as “Lord of the Flies meets Lost meets prolonged therapy”—follows a high school girls’ soccer team stranded in the wilderness after a plane crash, chronicling their descent into madness, survivalism, and possibly satanic snacktime.

What viewers missed: It’s fiction.

What they posted: “How did we let this happen?”
And also: “Justice for Cannibal Girl #3.”

“Where was FEMA? Where was Clinton??”

The trending hashtag #Yellowjackets unexpectedly morphed into a digital protest zone, with thousands of angry posts directed at the U.S. government for allegedly covering up “the real truth” about what happened in 1996.

One viral tweet read:

“I don’t care if it’s TV, the trauma feels real. That’s enough for an apology. Where’s Kamala??”

Another popular thread titled “Symbolism = Confession” claims the show’s antler imagery was a subtle admission of military involvement in the occult, while a separate forum links it all to the death of Princess Diana, genetically modified wasps, and the Colorado Avalanche’s 1996 Stanley Cup win.

Showtime Responds: “We write scripts, not history.”

Executives at Showtime issued a statement reminding viewers that Yellowjackets is a work of fiction “with dramatic exaggeration, thematic horror, and more than one unreliable narrator.”

This did not stop a group of fans from launching a class-action lawsuit titled:

“We Were Emotionally Manipulated into Caring About Imaginary Cannibals.”

Meanwhile, online petitions are circulating to:

  • Have Yellowjackets taught in AP History

  • Open a National Cannibalism Archive

  • Rename Thanksgiving “Gratitude & Guilt Day”

Government Silent. FBI Opens Folder.

As the pressure mounted, neither FEMA nor the Department of Transportation commented on the accusations. However, an FBI spokesperson admitted they’ve now opened a case file labeled:

“Subject: Yellowjackets – Mass Emotional Event or Distraction From Mars Treaty?”

Sources inside the NSA say the agency has been quietly monitoring fan activity since someone asked ChatGPT if “human meat is gluten-free.”

The Cast Reacts

Christina Ricci, who plays Misty, tweeted:

“It’s not real. But honestly? If it were, I wouldn’t snitch.”

Meanwhile, production sources say the creators are “extremely flattered but also mildly terrified,” and have hired security after someone attempted to deliver a deer carcass to the studio “in tribute.”

X.com Declares Emergency “Fandom Paranoia” Protocol

In response to the meltdown, X.com has temporarily replaced the trending #Yellowjackets banner with a warning:

“This show is fiction. Please do not report your dreams as evidence.”

Still, traffic to conspiracy forums has spiked 800%, and at least one influencer has been spotted in the woods filming TikToks titled “How To Cook With Fear.”