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France Bans Mondays • New Gen-Z Wellness Trend Involves Screaming Into Smart Mirrors That Generate Personalized Mantras Based on Your Shadow Self, Birth Trauma, and Which Corporate Logos Trigger the Most Emotional Disassociation • Therapy Out, Fermentation In: Urban Liberals Turn to Artisanal Vinegar and Leaf Confessionals • RFK Jr. Publishes “Blush Away the Bioweapon” from Inside HHS Office • AI Declares Itself the New Messiah
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