BREAKING NEWS:
Trump Offers “Trump Tower Mecca™” in Exchange for Qatari Jet, Sparks Holy Real Estate Diplomacy • Christian Right Declares War on Empathy: “Feelings Are a Gateway Drug to Socialism” • Google Introduces Incognito Mode for Real Life, Beta Testers Already Missing • New AI Dating App Pairs You Based on Your Deepest Abandonment Issues • Trump Demands World “Kiss My Ass,” Then Kisses Wall Street’s: Tariffs Suspended for Everyone Except China
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