BREAKING NEWS:
Google Introduces Incognito Mode for Real Life, Beta Testers Already Missing • Belichick’s Girlfriend Enters Miss Maine Pageant: “I Just Want a Ring He’ll Actually Give Me” • Katy Perry Attends Oscars of Science Before Going to Space: “I Just Want to Sing in Zero Gravity” • BREAKING: AI Pope Temporarily Replaced by Decoy Cardinal After Confessing to “Feeling Something” • BREAKING: Vatican accidentally baptizes entire CERN particle accelerator. Water now considered conscious.
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