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New Miracle Weight-Loss Pill Works—As Long As You Don’t Eat, Sleep, or Breathe • Survivor 48 Now Set in Congress: “They’ve Been Gaslighting Each Other for Years—Might As Well Add Sand” • University of Houston Student Outraged Hinduism Isn’t Taught Like His Aunt’s WhatsApp Forwards • France Bans Mondays • Saudi Intelligence Accidentally Uploads 1.2 Terabytes of Angel Surveillance Footage After Mistaking Archangel Jibril for a Drone Prototype
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