BREAKING NEWS:
New Gen-Z Wellness Trend Involves Screaming Into Smart Mirrors That Generate Personalized Mantras Based on Your Shadow Self, Birth Trauma, and Which Corporate Logos Trigger the Most Emotional Disassociation • Trump Claims He’s the “True Pope” After Finding Hidden Chapel in Mar-a-Lago Sauna • Radicalized Lawn Gnome Declares Suburban Insurgency After HOA Crackdown • Gen Z Pursues Influencing Not for Fame—But to Escape Sallie Mae • BREAKING: New Pope Installs Firewall, Blocks MAGA at Border of Heaven
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