“I Built Me First”: Double Interview with the Egos of Trump and Musk
In an undisclosed neural vault, Filthee News speaks to the two most powerful self-perceptions on Earth—each convinced it invented reality, Twitter, and the concept of being misunderstood.
In a time when truth is algorithmic, and self-awareness is a subscription service, humanity faces an unspoken crisis: the sovereignty of the Ego. No longer a private psychological function, Ego has become a geopolitical actor. We live in an era where public policy is shaped less by ideas and more by identities amplified through feedback loops.
The United Nations recently declared 2025 "The Year of Inflated Consciousness," citing a 400% increase in global narcissism and a rise in geopolitical tensions triggered by male influencers misquoting Marcus Aurelius. Meanwhile, the Vatican released a papal advisory discouraging prayer to verified accounts.
And so we sought out the two most influential egos alive.
Not the men.
The selves behind the men.
In an undisclosed neural vault rented by a subsidiary of SpaceXGolf™, Filthee News was granted access to what experts call a "Cognitive Anomaly Confluence": the simultaneous self-awareness nodes of Donald Trump and Elon Musk. Not the men themselves, but their Egos.
We entered the MEGΩDΩME at 03:14 AM, escorted by an ex-CIA life coach and a vibes-only bouncer named Tad. Inside, suspended in a vapor of testosterone and processed cheese scent, sat two reclining pods. In each: an Ego. They looked like Trump and Musk, if Trump and Musk were built entirely from Red Bull, memes, and untreated hubris.
They greeted us before we spoke.
Filthee News: Let’s begin with a basic question. Who are you?
Trump’s Ego: I am the Original. The Alpha Frame. The prototype for American Exceptionalism with sideburns. I was born when a young Donald saw himself reflected in a puddle of gold-plated Perrier. He whispered, “I love me,” and I said, “I know.”
Musk’s Ego: I’m the recursive function that keeps returning power. A closed loop of ambition, meme fluency, and failed fatherhood. Elon is merely my organic delivery mechanism.
Filthee News: Let’s go back. What was childhood like for each of you?
Trump’s Ego: I emerged fully formed during
Keep Reading on:
